Discovery Channel: Call Me!

Most people who buy lottery tickets know they probably won't win; but if they buy a ticket they can indulge a fantasy.  That won't work for me; I've taken too many math courses.

Truth is, after a serious illness forced me into early retirement I learned how to be poor, but happy. Still...who doesn't dream of getting really, stinking  rich?  Tempered by adversity, I could handle obscene wealth without turning into a douche bag.

But how?


I've considered various stratagems: indy-filmmaking and / or starting a high-end audio company are both appealing.  But execution and follow-through are not my strong points.  I'm more of a pure idea man.

Which leads us directly to Reality TV, where the right premise is everything:

(Fade in)
Two MEN, rugged, outdoorsy types, in an epic western ladnscape; the Rocky Mountains, perhaps.  We see a bear trashing a campsite.

NARRATOR (Voice over)
"Bears are nature's champions, but if they loose their fear of humans, they can get in lots of trouble, and may have to be put down.  That's where me and my partner Ivan come in.  We use our mixed martial arts training to put the fear of man back in the bear.  We're..."
(Cut to: title, theme music)
"...the Grizzly Punchers.  Using our feet and our fists, we fight bears in order to save them.  After they meet us, they'll never want to see a human again."
(Cut to commercial)

Fun - and Fortean - as Reality Television can be, I think I've hit on an even better idea: starting my own Think Tank.  It's easier than TV; the ideas won't even have to be good ones....

Discovery Channel, if you're reading this - call.  Once I'm a high-powered public intellectual I'll be too busy for you.  Act now!